Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Pants Rant

Let me just start this post off by giving it to you straight-- leggings are not pants. Leggings are best worn paired with a tunic or short dress, not a t-shirt or anything that, were the leggings absent, would leave your crotch exposed. So please, ladies, put your camel toe away, and invest in something a little less reminiscent of an extra layer of skin. I don't care how comfy your leggings are, a thin layer of cotton and spandex pulled ever so snugly over your legs does not constitute pants. People can see everything when you wear those things: ass jiggle, thigh jiggle, and, worst of all, labia jiggle!
Here's a little tidbit I like to remember when making any sort of decision, and I think it might help out some of you ladies to whom I speak-- just because Lindsay Lohan does it, does not mean it's a good idea; it actually probably means it's a bad idea. Consider the evidence-- self-tanner, cocaine, anorexia, I Know Who Killed Me-- all these choices turned out to have negative effects on Lindsay's life.
So please, ladies, next time you reach for your comfiest, stretchiest, vag huggingyiest pair of leggings consider one of these two suggestions-- pair them with a top that covers your ass and crotch, or put on some stinkin' PANTS.

<3 Alicia

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